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Safety First
Curiosity begins with understanding. Read this before anything else.
The essentials
- Consent is freely given, informed and ongoing — and can be withdrawn at any moment.
- Talk first. Agree boundaries and limits before anything begins.
- Agree a clear safeword or stop signal, including a non-verbal one.
- Anyone can stop at any time, for any reason, without explanation.
- Never put pressure on the neck or restrict breathing.
- Restraint can injure nerves and circulation. Check often and keep safety scissors nearby.
- Use suitable equipment and follow the manufacturer's instructions.
- Don't play when judgement is affected by alcohol, drugs or tiredness.
- Plan aftercare — physical and emotional — for everyone involved.
- If someone is hurt, feels faint, numb or unwell, stop and seek medical help. In an emergency call 999.
Consent and boundaries
Consent must be freely given, informed, specific and ongoing. Talk before anything begins: what each person wants, what is off-limits, and what is a maybe. Anyone can change their mind at any point.
Safewords and communication
Agree a clear word to stop, and a non-verbal signal for when speaking isn't possible. Many people also use a 'slow down' word. Check in often, and treat silence as a reason to pause.
Equipment safety
Use items designed for the purpose and follow the manufacturer's instructions. Never restrain the neck or anything that restricts breathing. Keep safety scissors within reach whenever anything is tied, and never leave a restrained person alone.
Risks and warning signs
Stop immediately for numbness, tingling, cold or discoloured skin, dizziness, panic or confusion. Alcohol, drugs and tiredness affect judgement — don't play when either person is impaired. If someone is hurt or unwell, seek medical help; in an emergency call 999.
Aftercare
Plan time afterwards for whatever helps: water, warmth, a blanket, reassurance, or quiet. Feelings can surface hours or days later, so check in with each other the next day too.
Safety checklist
A before, during and after checklist you can tick through or save as a PDF. Members only.
Open the checklistGeneral educational information, not medical advice. No activity is completely risk-free.